I commemorated the first week of 2024 with another tattoo—my third one, to be exact.
A quick back story: I got my very first tattoo a few weeks after I turned 19. It was a five-inch sword wrapped with vines and daisies inked on the side of my rib. But to be completely honest, it was more of the act of getting a tattoo rather than the tattoo itself that was meaningful to me. I kept it a secret from my parents, and it was the fact that I was making a permanent (and possibly life-changing) decision—something my parents had no say over—that made my first tattoo so special. It was the first time I felt like I truly had control over my own life.
For my second tattoo, I got it when I was 20. This time, I finally decided to let my parents know. I felt braver and somewhat more of an adult to be able to own up to my decisions rather than hide them. It was a big sternum piece, a moth with chains done by the incredibly talented artist Drew Cortez.
And now, at 22, I chose a delicate little bow to adorn the back of my left arm. The very antithesis of what you’d expect from an adult who had always wanted to be taken seriously.
You see, I spent most of my younger years wishing I'd grow up faster, and I’m pretty sure many can relate. At home, my family was always more protective of me than my big brother (we have an eight-year age gap). I was jealous that he had the freedom to do so many things that I wasn't allowed to do. I was watched over like a hawk. Every place I went to, I wouldn’t be left alone. Even when I was with a large group of friends, I was the only one that had a chaperone following my every move. Not only did I feel like an absolute loser most of the time, I felt like I had a leash on me, too. There was nothing little ol’ me wanted to do more than grow up faster. Maybe then I would be free, I thought.
So I did everything I could to show people, especially my family, that I wasn’t such a fragile little thing that needed to be watched over all the time. I did martial arts with my brother. I went to the shooting range and fired guns. And when I felt like that wasn’t enough, I decided to kick it up a notch, like wearing clothes that made me look older, occasionally sneaking out and drinking—all in a futile attempt to prove that I was not the little girl they thought I was. Never mind the fact that I was also getting straight As in school. Before I knew it, amidst all the bitterness and the string of stupid decisions I've made while waiting to become a full-fledged adult, I finally did.
And it wasn’t until I was listening to Taylor Swift’s single Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve and screaming the words “give me back my girlhood” that I realized something important: In all those years of wishing I was an adult, I may have missed out on the joys of just being a girl.
The funny thing is, I don’t think I was the only one who suddenly made this realization. 2023 beauty and fashion trends were dominated by all things reminiscent of girlhood. Think balletcore, coquette, blokette, and what have you. There were also those viral “girl math” and “girl dinner” videos on TikTok. It was as if there was a simultaneous longing of women all over the world for the simplicities of youth that they had lost or had also grown out of too quickly. And in realizing that, they turned to embracing femininity—the femininity that a lot of us had to hide because we knew that if we allowed ourselves to just be a girl, to just stay in our place, we would never be taken seriously.
Now that I’m in my 20s, I’ve finally earned the freedom (and challenges) that come with being an adult. In hindsight, I understand why my family was very protective of me. They’ve already done their fair share of growing up, after all. And I bet they have stood in the same position I am standing in now. Like me, they're probably wishing that they hadn’t grown up so fast.
Because let's face it, being an adult isn't as fun as it seems when you're a wide-eyed kid. It means facing tough decisions. It means dealing with real responsibilities. Not everyone realizes it, but maybe that's why many of us find solace in all things that usher in nostalgia, like gaming, collecting childhood toys, or binge-watching the shows we loved as children. For a lot of 20-something girls like me in 2023, that escapism translated into a shared longing for the carefree days of girlhood, echoed by wearing puff-sleeved dresses, ballet flats, and bows in our hair—or, in my case, getting inked on my arm.
Mind you, this is not me self-infantilizing. I'm quite happy now at the age I'm in. I have more agency than I ever did when I was an actual girl and I still badly wish to have more independence and prove myself to the world. But there is something powerful about being a twenty-something and embracing these girlish trends. Yes, I am a girl, but I can also be "just a girl" when I want to. I can be strong, but I can also be soft and vulnerable.
When I was deciding on my new tattoo, I thought to myself, what better way to symbolize that softness and vulnerability than with a bow? For me, this ink is a reminder that I do not always have to be so rigid. I can embrace my softness and vulnerabilities, as well as the girlhood that I so badly wanted to grow out of. The girlhood that I am now trying to reconnect with.
About the author
Isha Fojas is an Editorial Assistant at Preview. She enjoys nature walks and café hopping.
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